How do you find out what you believe? Watch and observe your actions. Then ask yourself why am I acting that way? This is kind of a Zen approach to finding yourself, by focusing on the struggle between what the world is and what you believe it is. It's the dis-satisfaction with the life you have verses the life you want that causes us to struggle or better yet suffer. It's out alignment to want to be wealthy if you resent the rich, how can you be trusting if you don't trust? How can you be honest if you believe in lying? The beliefs we've established on every subject cause our suffering. When you really start to observe and challenge these beliefs you come to find that almost all of them are based on lies we've been told by people we trusted to tell us the truth. The really sad thing is that these people didn't even realize they were lying to us, it was their belief.
Once the dis-empowering belief is uncovered, why is it so hard to change? Well it comes back to the Habitual Mind, that mind built in the image of the divine intelligence. It's running while your trying to repair it, (like trying to change a tire while the car is moving). And like Jose Ruiz says in the 4 Agreements it takes a very strong will to change a belief. And the only way is to start and not be so hard on yourself when you fail, just start again. If you believe that Complaining works to solve problems quicker, just stop complaining. Your not going to be able to stop cold turkey, but by staying aware,(support group) and being willing to realize your not perfect you give yourself permission to make mistakes and to keep moving forward and slowly what was a dis-empowering behavior based on a false belief starts becoming a powerful behavior based on the new belief. After awhile you realize your not complaining as much and that your life is getting just a little better.
You'll start feeling a new peace and happiness will appear were before there was only judgement and comparing. As you start addressing these character defects and aligning them with empowering beliefs you start experiencing a new freedom a new happiness, and fear will slowly disappear.. You have to take an honest inventory of your belief systems and the most effective way to do that has been by completing a 12 Step Program with somebody who has done it.
The most beautiful thing you can experience is watching your Habitual Mind take an empowering belief and make it true in your life. I am good enough, I am smart enough and I deserve to be Happy. For that is truly God's Will for us.